Whatfishing?

So, there's the phenomenon of "catfishing," which is when someone creates a false identity online for the purpose of luring someone into an online romantic relationship. I don't really understand the purpose of it, but hey, to each their own.

Then there is my personal favorite, "hatfishing," in which guys wear hats in their dating profile pictures, so that the women they hope to meet won't realize that they're balding. I don't have an online dating profile, but I am balding, and do like to wear a hat in the cooler months of the year. So this tends to get my vote for best word ever. But, hey guys, just in case you haven't figured it out, you have to take the hat off sometime. Sooner or later the woman of your dreams, or just Miss Right Now, whichever she turns out to be, is going to realize you're losing your hair. You're better off just rolling with that.

And today, I was introduced to the concept of "blackfishing." This is a criticism leveled at people for allegedly pretending to be Black or mixed-race online when they're "really" White. I have to admit that I treat the idea as being a joke. But it really isn't particularly funny. It's fairly sad, honestly. Now, I've written before about how I think that other people wanting to access Blackness isn't the end of the world. After all, it was only a couple of generations back when that would likely have been considered a sign of serious mental illness. The advantages of being seen as White were so clear and present that expending effort to be seen as Black (outside of show business blackface) would have simply been unfathomable.

[Dara Thurmond, a nurse from New York] says women accused of blackfishing are being "unfair" to black women who are trying to make it as influencers and get product endorsements of their own.

"You take away from them," Dara says.

This, for me anyway, gets to the heart of what fears of "blackfishing" and cultural appropriation are about. The sinking feeling that we're expendable. Who needs real Black people if they can have fake "Black" people instead? They get all of the all of the lips, braids and big booties that they can handle (not to mention Hip-Hop and "gangsta" fashion), and don't have to deal with people whose ancestors lived in sub-Saharan Africa up until the year 1500 or so.

Well, I kind of hate to break it to "us," but Black people are expendable. If every "genuinely" Black person on Earth were to drop dead tonight, there'd be a heck of a clean-up job in the coming few weeks, but the Sun would still rise in the morning, the trains would still run and the Internet would still be stuffed to the rafters with cat videos. There'd be a heck of a scientific puzzle to figure out, and American major-league sports (outside of hockey and soccer) would suck for a few years, but the world would go on as if "we" were never here. Black people don't bring anything inherently indispensable to the table. There's nothing particularly valuable or important that comes along simply with having dark skin and hair that can double as a scrub brush.

If Black people want to be seen as valuable to other people, then "we" have to offer them something that they can't otherwise get. Something other than wearing braids in Instagram photos. And if "we" want to be seen as valuable to ourselves as a community, well that's "our" problem, not that of some lady looks Black enough to pass, but happens to be Polish.

If Black women in business can't wear an afro, braids or locks, because it's seen as unclean, untidy or unprofessional, then the Black community needs more companies run by Black people who can then set the tone for what's appropriate.

Beggars can't be choosers, and if "we're" always approaching people, especially White people, as demanding supplicants, then yeah, their attitude is likely to be "get lost." I have no time for people coming to me with demands of what I'm going to do for them when they have nothing to offer in return. Other people might be more accepting of that, and bravo for them, but I certainly don't hold a negative response against them.

If "we" as Black people continue to abdicate power over "our" feelings of worth to people who aren't themselves Black, there is every chance that feelings of worthlessness will result. Because everyone else has their own problems to worry about. White people don't "need" Black people. That's just the way the world works.