Inexhausted

"What," the graphic asked, "is Black Fatigue?"

It gave five answers:

• The fatigue that comes from the pain and anguish of living with racism every single day of your life.
• The constant fatigue of not knowing whether you or a loved one will come home alive.
• Enduring the ravages of intergenerational racism.
• Being fatigued by those who are surprised and express outrage (with no action) that such inequities still exist.
• The fear, frustration, anger and rage that is part of many Black people's daily lives.

I get where this sort of thing is coming from, even as I wonder about its overall effectiveness.

I'm of the opinion that it's not helpful to give other people a veto over one's peace of mind, because they're likely to exercise that veto. Not out of spite or animus, but simply as a side effect of looking out for themselves and attending to the priorities that are important to them. And I suspect that for at least a sizable minority of the American public, if racism were to end tomorrow, they wouldn't notice its absence. And that means that it isn't a priority for them; they have problems of their own to worry about. Accordingly, it being a constant weight on one's shoulders is a recipe for unhappiness, because it's not likely to go anywhere on anything approaching a reasonable timeframe. Depending on who one might ask, or how one defines the phenomenon, racism in the sense that we understand it today dates back from anywhere from the Middle Ages to Classical Greece. It's likely not going anywhere anytime soon.

The fact that many Americans (of all racial backgrounds) lead lives of enduring desperation (quiet or not), fear and/or uncertainty is certainly a failure of the United State's vaunted ideals. And in the face of this, a commitment to "personal responsibility" (which often, ironically, is seen as a commitment that entire demographic groups should make) comes across as victim-blaming. Even so, there is something to be said for changing what one can change, and simply letting the rest of it go. Beating the drum over racism doesn't make it any more salient of a concern to those for whom it isn't a real problem. But the idea that it constantly erodes mind, body and spirit, or that it's a continuing problem for the mental health of the Black community serves as a constant reminder of the inability of Black Americans to either solve the problem, or insulate themselves from it. And what does that do to help anything?

I understand that, for many Black people, my outlook on life is nothing more than proof that I've turned my back on my people, and bought into a culture of White supremacy. Perhaps that is true; I don't claim to have a particularly clear perspective on myself, given the lack of distance between me, myself and I. But if my understanding of people in general is even somewhat accurate, ceding the ability to be happy in life, or at least satisfied, to others is simply a bad idea. I decided that I wasn't going to let racism get me down, because I could exercise at least that much control over my life. Were the fact there are people for whom the unequal nature of life in the United States surprising, but not motivating, a reliable source of fatigue, I wouldn't even have that. Homo Sapiens doesn't live up to the hype. It never has. I've never found accepting that fact to be particularly uplifting; only better than the alternative.