Coffee Ho

Beehive Espresso (The Finest Espresso in Town), downtown, has a new barista named Gabrielle. I know this because they advertise her on their signage. Apparently, she's supposed to be some sort of draw for the business. Don't ask me why. I know that I may have to turn in my Guy credentials for this, but if you've seen one white high-school/college-age young woman in swimwear, lingerie or soft-core "fetish" wear serving coffee, haven't you pretty much seen them all?

I understand it on an intellectual/business level - Beehive Espresso has a lot of local competition. You can see the Bigfoot Java (part of a chain) across the street. Follow the road around the gentle right turn that the right lane must make, and there's another espresso stand a little farther on. Standing were I was when I took this photo, turn about 135° to your left, and (you guessed it) there's another espresso stand. Make the full 180, and walk back about a quarter mile, and there's yet another. Not to mention the fact that next door to the parking lot that Beehive sits in is a McDonald's - did you know they sell espresso? In all, Behive sits about in the center of a three-quarter mile stretch of road that has 6 dedicated espresso stands. Clearly, Beehive has to do SOMETHING to stand out, and the "Bikini Barista" shtick isn't anything new.

But there's something about advertising the presence of a specific young woman that pushes this whole thing into the bizarre. Maybe I'm just out of the loop. Perhaps some of these baristas attain minor celebrity status, and they can now move from place to place, and pull customers with them. Maybe there are trading cards or something. Maybe the regulars had simply started burning out on whomever had been there prior to Gabby, and management wanted to let them know there was a new um... attraction.

Or maybe the very fact that going to a coffee place specifically because there will be a skimpily dressed young woman half my age in the window strikes me as something between nonsensical and pornographic simply means that I've become really, REALLY old...