It's Everywhere

Choosing pets over kids is selfish, Pope says

"Selfish," I think, is one of the least effective ways to attempt to shame people, because it's one of the most commonly deployed. After all, this isn't the first time that the Pontiff has called out the voluntarily childless as selfish. And there are those who say that having children is selfish. Or that not adopting is selfish. And there are also people who are willing to criticize those who don't have enough children. Or have them too late in life.

It seems that pretty much whatever one does, there is someone waiting with the charge of selfishness. So why bother trying to avoid it? It's the epitome of you can't please all of the people, all of the time. So it makes sense to pick the people one wants to please, and ignore the remainder. Of course, Pope Francis may feel that his opinion carries greater weight than others. But I suspect that the people who agree with him are already parents or planning to be so. After all, it's not like there's a huge section of humanity who never considered having children until the Pope came along and called them out for owning German Shepherds instead.

Likewise, why bother being put out at a criticism that can't be escaped? I understand why people feel the need to hit back at Pope Francis, but it's not like he's suddenly going to join Team Collie because a bunch of people on Twitter are frustrated by his criticism of them. The Pope understands that people (outside of those called to celibacy, anyway) have a responsibility to be parents because that what God wants them to do and that it's the best thing for humanity writ large. That seems unlikely to change anytime soon.

So it starts to feel like dueling virtue signalling, with everyone wanting to make sure that others understand just which "correct" side of an issue that they are on. And to make sure that others understand the shameful position that their detractors have taken. But in my own life, a shrug, and "so what?" have served me pretty well. I have neither partner, children nor pets, and people have called me selfish for each of those. I used to challenge them to tell me what was so selfish about it, but now I've just learned to roll with it. I made the choices that seemed the most reasonable at the time that I made them, just as everyone else does. It took longer than it really should have, but I finally learned to stop judging my own choices by how popular (or not) they were. After all, humanity keeps growing and keeps advancing technologically (and perhaps socially) without everyone needing to move in lockstep. Sure, were everyone to decide to ditch the idea of parenting tomorrow, the future of humanity would be in jeopardy, but that time is coming eventually, no matter what people decide to do. Even if humanity manages to avoid some Earthly pressure that would otherwise result in extinction, the Universe won't be able to support life forever. There's only so much hydrogen to go around.

The fear that some minority position will suddenly become the mainstream is an interesting one, especially because it seems to speak to the idea that the willfully perverse is always lurking somewhere, waiting to strike. When Pope Francis speaks of a "Demographic Winter," does he honestly perceive a sharp contraction in the human population? China was unable to produce the same, even with a One-Child Policy that was widely regarded as a human-rights nightmare. In nations where populations are slowing due to a lack of children, the difference is commonly being made up by people from places where there are more people than opportunities. When humanity finally stops increasing its ranks, it's unlikely to be for lack of trying. And when children become too expensive to be everywhere, calling out people for owning Calicos is not going to remedy that. So while I understand the Pope's position, I don't think that his words will do much to change anything; or that they need to. The multi-directional shame game is unlikely to amount to much.