Misdefined

Socialism: A narrow definition that I can claim to be just as much against as you are. Although I leave the door open to the idea that it just might work - just in case I'm talking to an actual Socialist.

Corporate Socialism: My justification for telling you that you, too, are a Socialist if you support the current system.

Democratic Socialism: Where I claim that Socialism is just like Capitalism, except better, because somewhere along the way a miracle occurs and greed and corruption are expunged from the psyche of a suddenly enlightened public. There is the added bonus of being able to cast any disagreement with me as heartless and selfish.

I get it. It's nice to think that all we need to do is elect the right President who has the right politics and the right ideas about the economy, and all of our problems will magically go away. But simply creating our own definitions for things isn't going to get us there, because it blinds us to the fact that benefits usually have costs.